Yeah! Yeah! Totally!
by phoenix545
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto have to pretend that they're Kakashi-sensei's kids! But what's worse, Iruka-sensei has to be his…his…his…HIS HUSBAND!


**Warnings: mentions of mpreg, males can get pregnant without question, geninSasuke, geninNaruto, characters maybe OOC, motherlyIruka, attempt at humor.**

"Alright Kakashi-sensei," Iruka's eyes narrowed suspiciously, arms crossed as he sat on the bar stool of Ichiraku Ramen with Naruto and Sasuke to his right. The jounin tried to look as innocent as possible, but Iruka could see right through him. "It's not like you to take me and the boys out for ramen, and pay. What is it you want?"

"Can't I treat my students and their favorite sensei to lunch?" Kakashi-sensei asked, keeping up the act.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Fine, fine! You caught me, I actually need you all to do me a favor." Naruto and Sasuke stopped slurping their ramen to look over at the silver haired ninja. "I need you all…" Kakashi started, swallowing before continuing "I need you all…to…to pretend to be my family." Everyone went still. Even the ramen guy froze in his place.

"You want us to…what?!" Iruka hissed.

"I need you to be my family." Kakashi repeated. "Y'know, Naruto and Sasuke be my kids, and you, you be my husband."

"And why must we do this?"

"Because I got invited to a party from a rival of mine. He's apparently celebrating his anniversary with his wife. So I lied and said I too, have a family." the copy-nin narrowed his eyes down at the counter, before clenching his hands into a fists and slamming them down onto the counter "Damn, I hate that guy! Thinks his life's so much better than mine. WELL HE'S WRONG! MY LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER!" Everyone was taken aback by the mans sudden outburst.

"WHHAAAAAT?!" Naruto shouted outraged "NO! NO! NO WAY! I'M NOT BEING THAT PERVY-SENSEI'S SON! NEVER! YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT!"

"I'll pay for ramen anytime you want."

"…Okay fine, but you can't just use me again BECAUSE I'M NOT CHEAP! I WANT RAMEN EVERY SINGLE DAY FROM NOW ON!"

"No Naruto, that's not healthy!" The brunette nagged. Naruto only huffed and continued eating his fifth bowl.

Iruka sighed, rubbing his temples, feeling a migraine slowly coming on. "Okay Kakashi-sensei, you got Naruto, but what about me and Sasuke? What do we get in return for doing this?"

"Well Sasuke," Kakashi leaned forward so he could see the genin "What do you want in return?"

"To punch you." Sasuke answered casually. "Just once."

"Ahh, alright then…I guess I'm okay with that."

"Good." Why did the jounin have a sudden chill run down his spine at the response?

"A-anyway, for you Iruka-sensei, I'll stop stalking you outside your classroom window…for a week." Iruka sighed, well, it was better then nothing.

"You've been stalking my sensei?" Naruto growled possessively. Though, his anger was left unnoticed.

"Fine, I'll do it, but if I even feel your presences outside my window, you better prepare to see the third hokage again." Kakashi smirked under his mask and chuckled slightly.

"Alright then."

All four of them walked down a dirt path around 8:30, dressed in traditional kimonos. Sasuke and Naruto were chatting, well, more like arguing over something, like how babies were made. Kakashi didn't want to get involved with that one, but it did bring up a point.

"I was thinking, since we're both male, one of us has to take the fatherly role with the other takes the motherly one. So, I'm the fatherly and you're the motherly."

"Why am I the motherly?" Iruka asked, very offended.

"Because…you're you."

"That's not a point!"

Naruto shot up his arms straight in the air happily "Yay! We get to call Iruka-sensei Mom!"

"Only this one time!"

"But then we have to call Kakashi-sensei Dad." Sasuke pointed out grimly, the blonde's arms fell back down to his side at the sudden realization.

"Ugh, now I just feel nauseous." Kakashi sighed. Soon, ahead of them was a very large mansion that was lit up and thousands upon thousands of people could be heard inside along with loud music playing from an orchestra. Sasuke, Naruto, and Iruka's mouths dropped at how big the house was.

"Oh Kakashi-sensei, he really does have a better life than you..." Iruka said in awe. The jounin gritted his teeth.

"NO HE DOESN'T! Anyway," he took a few deep breaths in to calm himself "Whatever you guys do, don't mention a single thing about his hair and nose. Just don't. That could mean trouble. Just ignore it and be nice. That goes double for you Naruto."

"Hey, if I see something wrong, Imma point it out! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!" They walked up to the front door to be greeted by a man in a suit and tie. Kakashi handed him the invitations, before walking inside.

"Wow, you need to have invitations to get inside! This really is the fanciest party I've been too!" Iruka awestricken said.

"Oh well, if it isn't my old friend, Kakashi Hatake!" a voice bellowed, and a man started walking towards them.

"Oh Kami here he comes!" Kakashi warned.

"Oh wow, his nose and hair really are bad." The brunette said through clenched teeth as he gave his best friendly smile.

"Yeah, just act natural. Hey Mineki! It's good to see you again!" The man named Mineki walked over with a polite smile. "So Kakashi, is this the family you've told me all about?"

"A-ah yes! Yes! This is my husband, Iruka," the brunette bowed politely.

"Pleasure to meet you." Mineki bowed in return as well.

"Pleasures all mine."

"And these are my ten year old sons, Sasuke and Naruto." Kakashi didn't understand why they glared at him. Mineki bent down to their level, still giving a polite smile.

"Hello there, my names Mineki. How are you both doing?" Both just kept their eyes wondering around the room so they wouldn't have to look at the nose or hair, Naruto started whistling, turning his body slightly to the left. Mineki stood up "Ah Kakashi, your children aren't acknowledging my presence."

"Ugh, kids, please acknowledge mister Mineki." He shouldn't have said anything. Right at those words, Naruto jumped onto Mineki's back and started feeling his hair and Sasuke was reaching his hand up in attempt to touch his nose.

"Why is your hair like this?"

"Is that your real nose?"

"Okay, stop! Stop! Stop acknowledging mister Mineki!" Kakashi told both of them. Naruto hopped off the mans back and Sasuke stopped trying to reach up, but they both kept looking at him intensely. It made Mineki very uncomfortable…

"Umm okay," Mineki cleared his throat "Ah, Kakashi, your children are strange."

"Yeah…I know…"

"And they look nothing like either of you."

"W-what?" Kakashi laughed nervously "Sasuke has my eyes!"

"No, no, I don't really think so."

"No, Sasuke, come here."  
Sasuke walked over and Kakashi bent down so that their heads were pressed against each other. "See?"

"Well I can only see one of your eyes."

"Then he has my eye!"

"Hmm, and the black hair?"

"H-he gets that from Iruka's side." Mineki just stared at him.

"Hm, then what about this one." He pointed down at Naruto. "He doesn't look a thing like either of you."

"Yeah…he's just a…he's just a genetic mutation…"

"Hey!"

"Well then! Alright! How about you and me catch up a little Kakashi, and your kids can run off, and I don't know, do kids stuff."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What do you say Iruka?" When he didn't get a response, he looked over to where Iruka was standing to see that he was gone! Kakashi was alerted. "Iruka?!"

"You know, my son never follows directions." One mom said in their little "mom circle". Iruka had no idea he was in the "mom circle" he just was there because he overheard the conversation, and couldn't help but join in.

"Oh my Kami, yes, yes!" the rest of the circle agreed.

"The dishes are never done." Another complained.

"Yes!" They agreed in sync again.

"Every time I walk in, the room is never cleaned." Iruka added.

"Oh my Kami! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Man, this party is so boring!" Naruto groaned, holding a full plate of food. "Like the only thing good about this party is the food!" Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"Hello you two!" a women, with way too much makeup for her own good, approached them. "I heard you were the sons of the great Kakashi Hatake! Is that true?" Both looked at each other.

"Ah, yeah! Yeah! We're his-" The blonde threw up a bit in his mouth "Sons!" the women squealed in joy.

"Oh how wonderful! What are your names?"

"I'm Naruto!"

"And I'm Sasuke."

"Sasuke?" A man suddenly looked over his shoulder "As in Sasuke Uchiha? The last remaining of his clan?" A whole crowd of people turned around, whispering amongst each other.

"What is Sasuke Uchiha doing here?"

"I wasn't informed one of the last Uchiha's would be at this party!"

"Oh he's so cute! My daughter would love him."

"A-ah! Did he say Sasuke!" Naruto said nervously "He meant Sousuke! H-he always gets confused!" Sasuke glared at him.

"Is it true?"

"Is Kakashi Hatake really your father?"

"Yes! Yes, Kakashi Hatake is my-" He choked "He is my-" He choked again "He definitely is my-" Kami! He couldn't get the words out! "He is my father!" the crowd started whispering to each other again.

"Yup! His sperm defiantly made us!" Naruto smiled.

"I told you Naruto! The sperm doesn't make the baby! It's the eggs!"

"No! It's the sperm!"

"Eggs!

"Sperm!"

"Eggs!"

"Sperm!"

"Eggs!"

"We'll argue about this later!"

"What is it like being the son of such a legend?" A women came up to him and asked. Naruto suddenly got a very evil idea inside his head. He gave his best kicked puppy expression.

"It's not what you would think," He sniffled, tears suddenly forming in his eyes "He wasn't there for half of our lives." Everyone gasped "He can't even tell us apart, even though we're not identical twins!" Everyone gasped again. Sasuke smirked, catching on.

"Yeah…he always tells us we'll never be anything special…" Sasuke added, also pretending to cry.

"And he reads us porn before we go to sleep!"

Gasps!

"He forgets our birthdays!"

Gasps!

"He forgets us in parking lots!"

Gasps!

"And he buys us ice cream then knocks it out of our hands!"

Gasps!

"He makes us write down our dreams on a piece of paper and then crushes it in front of us!"

Gasps!

"He uses "A Thousand Years of Death" on us!"

"Oh you poor children!"

"Come here!" a bunch of people started to hug them.

"That's so sad!" Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other with pleasured smirks. They did indeed make this party a bit more interesting.

"I must say Kakashi," Mineki said "Your life seems very great."

"Yeah, MUCH GREATER THAN YOURS." Mineki looked at him with wide and confused eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Anyway, you have a beautiful husband-"

"Yeah, I BET YOU DON'T HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND."

"Well, that is true, but at least my children aren't overly weird." Mineki smirked. Kakashi growled.

A hand suddenly slapped on his shoulder, making Iruka jump and turn around. "Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Yes! Where have you been?! I need you for the plan!"

"Sorry! I've just been chatting! And Kakashi-sensei, your friend keeps…looking at me." Iruka glanced out of his right eye and saw Mineki staring at him with seductively. He shivered.

"Kakashi-sensei?" One mom repeated.

"Why would you say 'sensei'?"

"Yeah, aren't you two married?"

"Is it some type of kink?"

"Come on Iruka! Let's go dance!" Kakashi quickly said, taking the chunin by the wrist and dragging him out to the dance floor. "Yeah, I forgot to tell you, Mineki's a home wrecker." He informed as they danced.

"What?!"

"Yeah, he'll try to seduce you into having sex with him just so he can destroy our family."

"So that's why he grabbed my ass…"

"Well, who wouldn't! I mean-"

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Sorry."

"How do I get him to leave alone?"

"Just stay close to me, he won't do anything while I'm around." Iruka nodded, blushing as when he realized how close they were. It…it felt kind of nice. Kakashi couldn't control himself any longer, he's liked the chunin for so long, but he never knew how to approach the other about his feelings. Now however, with the brunette pressed so close to him and seeing that crimson blush across the tan cheeks, he couldn't control his body anymore. "Iruka," He whispered, sliding his mask down. The chunin looked up, and a pair of pale lips connected with his own. To his shock, he deepened the kiss, threading his fingers in the silver locks.

Naruto was busy making up more stories about Kakashi, when he just happened to look out to the dance floor. His eyes widen with shock and fury.

"THAT PERV!" He shouted, stomping over, but Sasuke rushed over quickly, holding the blonde back. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!" Kakashi and Iruka didn't hear Naruto's growls and Sasuke's cries to calm down, both in their own little world.

Naruto did manage to escape Sasuke and threw a buffet table at his silver haired sensei. That buffet table surprisingly(not surprisingly) hit more people than just the jounin, but he still hit the copy-nin so he didn't care. Though, that did result in them getting kicked out.

"Well…that was…interesting." Iruka said as they walked home.

"Agreed." Kakashi replied.

"I think we fooled him." Iruka looked at Kakashi with very soft eyes that made the jounin's heart skip several beats.

"It was even more interesting when we started making rumors about Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto smiled.

"Wait, what?"

"Was it really bad being Kakashi-sensei's kids for a day?" Iruka asked. Both Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other.

"Yeah, it was fine." They mumbled quietly.

"It all worked out in the end I guess. Well…sort of." Kakashi was happy, he showed Mineki that he had a better life(kind of), so he was pleased.

"Can I punch you now?" Sasuke asked, looking up at him with big black eyes. They were adorable, but also EVIL. Kakashi shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess." they all stopped moving. The jounin wasn't expecting much, he's been hit by full grown men, powerful rogue ninja, what's a little genin gonna d-"OW! FUCK!" Kakashi hissed out and clenched his private area tightly, screwing his eye shut and wheezing harshly, as he bent over. "WHAT THE HELL SASUKE?! WHY DID YOU PUNCH ME THERE?!"

"You're too tall, I couldn't reach your face."

"I COULD HAVE BENT DOWN!"

"You were taking too long." It was established, at least in Kakashi's book, this genin was pure evil.

"Hey! That looks like fun! I wanna punch Kakashi-sensei in the crotch too!" Naruto raised his fist and started walking over.

"No! No! No! No more hitting Kakashi-sensei in the crotch!" The jounin said as he moved away from the blonde who was rapidly approaching him. Iruka rubbed the mans back as he was now on the ground, on all fours with his one hand still holding his probably bruised penis.  
When he finally recovered the group started moving again.

"Hey Naruto and Sasuke, do you just want to come home with me?" Iruka offered. "I honestly don't feel comfortable with you two walking home alone. Especially this late at night."

"Yes!" Naruto replied and Sasuke only shrugged, though, kind of happy, but he'd never say that out loud.

"Do I get to go to Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi gave the brunette a puppy dog look. The chunin smiled at him brightly.

"Of course you do Kakashi-sensei!" the jounin was grateful for his mask, or else they would have all seen his face go as red as a tomato.

"I want to use my part of the deal now! I want ramen!" Naruto shouted.

"Hmm, this might sound weird, but I'm actually hungry for croutons." Iruka said.

"Yay! Crouton party in Iruka-sensei's room!" Naruto shot his hands up into the air again.

"No." Kakashi quickly replied. He want to do other things in the bedroom.

"Yes!"

"Oh Kami."

Kakashi didn't end up doing anything that night, but, they did have a crouton party.

* * *

 **my lovely beta/friend helped me edit this story so a very big thank you to her :D!  
**

 **thank you all for reading:)!**


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